I wish...

I wish..
All those time I stay silent,I wish I did speak up.
When I said "yes" but I actually meant "no" ,
I wish "no" was the thing that came out of my mouth.

Those time I let people said everything they want about me
and I just let them be,
I wish I did correct them and stand up for me.

Those time I did not believe in me,
I wish I trusted me like I trust miracle does happen
in this real life.

And when I doubt in me too much,
I wish I told me "you are gonna be fine"
And when I was in the warpath,
I wish I told me "you will be winner"

Things are in the past
Nothing I can change even with million dollars
At least I knew now better
and never let the same thing happen,ever..

Well at least you learnt something.
and help you grow your mind

Someday you will be the girl that you wish
The strongest, the happiest
You are wearing your crown now,
so you are the queen of your journey,
A queen with happiness just enough to make you the prettiest. :)

-Nurul Nabihah Azman-

My Fangirl life

Hey Hey Hey..
How are you doing?

I'm doing great.happier day by day..I'm preparing for my January exam but suddenly I feel like writing a new entry.But I dont really study much I dont know why T_T
Just lost focus a bit cause it's holiday and everyone else is busy travelling.
I've wasted almost a week.(what???really??)Do pray for me that I will get my focus back ,pleaseee :)
thank you xoxoxo

as you'all know my fav singer is Taylor Swift.I'm just gonna share what other things she inspire me.

Taylor says,
some artist are looked up to for being sexy but for taylor she wants to be looked up for being nice.She says it doesnt matter if that's not cool cause she's not trying to be cool, never will.

I love Tay!!She inspired me to always be kind to people.

Taylor also said she is not nice all the time but she's always trying not to be careless to people who dont deserve it.

She also said
" There are going to be people who will try to undercut your success ,take credit of your accomplishment,if you just focus on where you're going and you dont let those people sidetrack you.someday when you get whre you're going you'll realise that it was you and the people who love you that put you there"

#take note guys and girls: Let try to be nice to everyone so that we'll have a wonderful life.and if there is people who tryna make you unhappy or talk bad about you, just ignore them and just focus on your journey cause there are some many people that love you.

Remember, " You are LOVED even when you feel alone.It gets easier ,it feels okay then it feels like freedom"

Byee everyone.XOXO👄👄👄👄

Just keep walking

Has anyone ever felt like you regret the path you're taking?
Have you ever wished that you could go back and take other path?
Have you ever just,

 "ahhh..i wish this will never be my choice"

"My life would be better if I chose other route"

Does it means that you have gave up?Wait...
You never gave up your whole life,why are you giving up now.Wake up!Keep walking.You'll reach your destination soon.Real soon,I promise.

Just dont stop too long.Dont get distracted by your own self's bad thoughts.
You're on the right path,darling.

If you feel sad or depressed ,alright it's totally fine if you wanna cry maybe for a while but then just move on.Keep going.You'll feel relieved at your destination and look back and be proud of yourself.

This is my favourite quotes "Dont look back,just keep walking.If Cinderella turned back,she wouldnt be a princess"

Lots of love :)

Tower Bridge

There is something special about Tower Bridge.
I dont know why..but there is

Is it just me who feel that way? I dont know.
But everytime after I came to this bridge,usually when I feel sad or depressed.
when I got home, I'm not the same person anymore.

I feel free of worry and sadness.It's like my head is empty of all the bad thoughts.
Had all the doubts and worries gone to the river,maybe??

Thank you for listening to me,Tower bridge,
Thank you for always being there for me when nobody else was.
I know you're not alive,but you make me alive and feel brand new.

Love,
A girl who's always worried about everything.

Dear self

Dear self,

You dont have to feel insecure about anything..

you are good enough.

Dont let the whisper behind your back ruin your happiness.

Keep smiling,keep slaying.

Just focus on your journey.

Avoid the distraction.

I know you can do it.

Finally someone said it!!Thanksss..

Dato Lee Chong Wei

Dear Dato' Lee Chong Wei, these two photos really break my heart a lot.I am shedding tears while writing this.Everyone knows this is your third Olympics and this is also the third time you get silver medal for the Olympics.Everyone knows you trained really hard, injured your leg, sacrificed your time with family.I know you are not doing this for yourself or your family, but you are doing this because of all of us Malaysians.Because you are the only hope that we have to bring Malaysia's first gold medal in Olympics.

I have seen the interview after your game yesterday and you said sorry for all of Malaysians for the disappointment.No Dato' , you dont have to say sorry at all.We are so proud of you indeed.Inside the silver medal, we see your golden efforts, we see your golden heart.Sorry Dato', your sorry is not accepted because you have never done any single mistakes.

Because of you we Malaysians become united, more than any other misi perpaduan has ever done.Because of you , everyone has seen how someone is so loyal towards his nation.Because of you we learnt a lot of things.Because of you we Malaysia become famous because you are the World's number one badminton player.

I am just gonna keep your photo in my phone.In case I feel like giving up in this life, I am just gonna see your photo and remind myself that I should never ever giving up in everything I do.Because you has lost to Lin Dan 25 times, but you still try your best making a lot of efforts and finally you won against Lin Dan during Rio 2016.And I should always remember that I must work hard to serve my nation not for big houses or expensive cars.This is what I learnt from you, Dato'.You are truely an inspiration even you are not a muslim, you are one of the kindest chinese I've ever known.

For us you are still number one.Shed only proud tears,hero.We dont need gold medal,,because you are our golden hero.

Thank you so much, legend.

"A true hero shed tears for everyone, not for himself" :)

Thank you,taylor!

This girl, she gives me so much motivation in life.I used to have the fear of not fitting in.I used to feel so insecure with someone over there because I'm not popular enough , I'm not good enough,But taylor always have her wise words and that's what I always lived with.

My favourite speech from taylor is during her "Clean" performance:

"“I can’t promise you that you’ll ever live in a world where people don’t hurt your feelings. But I can promise you that if you keep on moving and taking one day at a time, the opinions and words of people who hurt you, will matter less and less to you. People are going to say things about us that aren’t true. 

Every single day we go online and we scroll through the highlights of other people’s awesome lives. But we don’t see the highlights of our own lives… all we see is the “behind the scenes” of our lives. You see your doubts, you see your concerns, you see your fears… You’re the only one inside your brain feeling all of the anxieties and hearing the voices that are telling you you can’t be who you want to be or that you want to be more like that other person over there. 

Let me tell you that people are mean to each other, but no voices are as mean as our own voices are to ourselves. And, I just want you in those moments to look in a mirror and understand what you ARE and what you ARE NOT. You are NOT somebody else’s opinion of you. You are NOT damaged goods just because you’ve made a few mistakes in your life. You are NOT going nowhere just because you haven’t arrived at your final destination yet. You a your own definition of beautiful and worthwhile. What you are is wiser and stronger because you’ve made mistakes. What you are is brave for living your life in a daring way that would cause you to take the risk it takes to make mistakes. What you are is someone whose walked through a bunch of rain storms but continues to put one foot in front of the other.

I have realized that it is not about being “perfect” or feeling perfect, its about getting on with things and realizing that you are happy today. One thing that I do know is that pain actually does make your stronger… And that walking through rain storms does not make you damaged, if you keep going it actually makes you clean.” 

Reunion A-Levels

top photo is from our Raya Reunion.Sadly not all of our batch members can join. :(
But I still feel that they are just there with us :)

Bottom photo is from our winter trip.At first we felt so guilty whether to post photo or not.It's because we don't want to make our friends in Malaysia feel left out.But if we dont let them know that we are having small reunion, that will make us feel guilty even more.

My A-level friends are different from other friends in high school or primary school.They are all very nice and kind.Hope that our friendship stay forever.Tak sabar nak tengok sape kahwin dulu,hihi..

LONDON I'm in lovee!!!

quote of the day

"jika engkau tidak berjalan,segalanya akan kekal dongeng" -teme-

my friend once said, the decision you made is never a bad choice.There's always something good in it.Now I realised ,my friend was right.When I look back through my journey, I'm so grateful for every choice I have made in my life.The first one is going to SMKA Kerian.This is my first secondary school.This is where I met new friends,this is where I started growing up.This is also the first time I get far away from family.I learn how to cover aurah properly.I started wearing socks when going out, I started wearing quite wide scarf(walaupun takde lah labuh mana and still trying to be better).Although at first I always cried and was about to quit,I still made it until after PMR.

Then, I got an offer from SBPI Gopeng.I am so uncertain whether to continue my study in SMKA or choose IGOP.But then I made another decision in my life.I went to IGOP.At first, I regret my choice.I cried everyday because I cant stop missing my friends in smka.Plus, getting to a school where everybody has known each other and you are new to the class,it's not that easy to cope with new friends and new environment.I can't study as I kept crying.Everyone in class is so genius and I felt like i'm the worst.i miss smka!!"If only I stay in smka.." I kept repeating that in my mind.It wasnt that bad though.I survived until SPM.I started to realise there are a lot of reasons why I made this choice.One of them is if there wasnt pressure of having super genius friends in class,I wouldnt study that hard and get good grades in spm,and also get bursary scholarship.Thank you for all the stress,the feeling of not good enough that make me achieve this.

Then, another decision has been made, I choose UPM to do my foundation.It wasnt long though.I quit during second sem to do a-levels.Did you regret for doing asasi?noo..not at all.I am so thankful to Allah for that opportunity.The best part of this is I learnt "whatever you do in life,you must have sincerity..and do it for the sake of Allah,to get his redha"

And here it comes the story about my a-levels.I regret it,,honestly.but wait!!only for the first few weeks,or maybe months..yeah i know my life is full with decision,regret,cry,sedar,redha.BUT remember there's never a bad choice in your life.Allah has written your story beautifully.Did you pray istikharah before doing a-levels?yeah i did,so it's not a bad decision.A-levels was hard at first until I feel like quitting and doing asasi again,but still I survived and now I am already in UK studying Pharmacy.The greatest lesson that I got from doing a-levels is  "when Allah loves someone,he tests him/her..Always pray to Allah ,not to make your life easier,but to make you strong to overcome his challenges.and also Allah does not judge you based on your results..it's the efforts that matters"

Alhamdulillah I survived all of this.Now I am just hoping that I can survive MPHARM degree also.Thank you Allah for always being there for me. :))